It has been quite a few days for my son in the past five days or so. Thanksgiving is the holiday that many of us just finished celebrating by spending time with family. My wife and I went with her aunt to a little town in Georgia for a few days and, of course, we took Elijah (our son) with us. All of his great aunts and cousins seemed to be so in awe of him and wanted to hold him and talk with my wife about having him. Elijah is going on being ten weeks old this week, so he can get fussy sometimes, which can be frustrating, but for the most part he is a chilled baby until he is being changed.
Well, after days of doing pretty well, even in spite of being gassy, he had a tough day yesterday. He screamed out loud and I could not get him to come down or quiet down. I admit that I lost my cool with him. I felt like a bad father afterwards because I completely ad angrily overlooked the fact that…..he is just a baby. He does not have the ability to use words to express himself yet. Therefore, I should have been way more patient with him.
It was kind of the reason that I didn’t want children. Not just because they can cry so long, but because I cannot always take the pain away. Last week, Elijah received vaccinations for his two month old well-check visit. Then yesterday, he gets constipated or possibly overstimulated and he just screams. Hurt and pain are a part of the mortal’s existence. There is no way of running from it. I believe in God. I believe in the God of the Christian faith, therefore, I believe in faith and hope and prayer. So, I always pray (even when I feel that I have not been a good Christian or a good father or a good husband) that God will give Elijah a life filled with vigor.
I was told that even when my son grows up to be a man (if God so allows in His Will) that I will never completely get over worrying about him. For now, I try my best to take it a day at at a time. My desire is to take time to stare at him (and my wife for that matter) and take in the moments with him. After loving my wife, my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I believe that when I look at him from now on, I will think: “Long may you run, my son. I do hope that your journey may be righteous one, a peaceful one, and a vigorous one.”