I am no expert at love and marriage, but I am learning that it continually takes work. As a matter of fact, it never seems to stop taking work. Now, something taking “work” does not always connote a bad thing. However, an effort must be put forth daily when it comes to making a love, a marriage last.
I have watched my parents’ marriage last because they worked at it. It was not just a “love will see us through” type of ethos either. It had been and has been a realization (for the both of them) that they do not know everything. Guess what? My wife came to understand this same truth. We do not know everything, and as we both grow, we both need to work with each other to stay on the same page with one another in our marriage.
For me, working on my marriage is similar to seeing a person who loves old model cars working on their favorite old model car in their garage every Saturday: it is a project that calls for me to make sure that I am hands on with its growth and development when it comes to reaching my goal for it. What is my goal for my marriage? Well, unlike driving an old model car, my goal for my marriage is to have a lasting relationship with my wife that benefits her as she continually benefits me and all to the glory of God. You see the car gives a moment of joy; my wife, on the other hand, gives me a lasting joy through trials and tribulations. Moreover, any man-made creation cannot reciprocate in a loving relationship and relationships are supposed to be all about reciprocation. If there is no give and take and understanding and humility between two people if a marriage, then what is it all for when it comes to putting rings on one another’s fingers and making vows. Marriage then would be a complete waste of time.
So, it is possible for persons being in successfully lasting marriages to have gained enough wisdom to share with those folk new to marriage or with few years in marriage. But there is no real need for any person to think that they have become an ‘expert’ at marriage because there is always something to learn and there can be an area for continued growth. You can have some expertise in marriage while understanding that you are not completely an expert on every marriage. Besides, love and loving others altogether is strongly subjective, or isn’t it?
Is it possible to be an expert on love and marriage?